I had an interesting message on the answering machine on Monday. Some lady was associating me with a ‘bicycle ministry’. I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. I did much enjoy the Monty Python sketch on the Ministry of Silly Walks, so I’m guessing ‘bicycle ministry’ is some form of governmental department- which makes things make even less sense since I have a disdain for unnecessary paperwork. If it is in more of an Americanized definition of ministry, I’ve made it known that I won’t want to be associated with the word. Granted, I’m into saving bikes, but I don’t think that’s what most people are thinking happens in a ministry. I digress.
Back to the story. The woman’s message involved a bicycle that she was donating to a child in need for Christmas. Of course, if everything was hunky dory she wouldn’t be calling me to save the velocipede. Her message indicated that she had a problem with the bike and her solution led to a bigger problem- that’s why she called the bicycle ministry. I guess sometimes a layperson just doesn’t have the power and the clergy need involved.
Her answering machine story said that she had aired up the tires outside and took the bike inside, so the warmer temperature caused the tire to explode. For all you bike shop people out there, this sounds like a JRA- “Just Riding Along” without the riding part. She wondered if I could show up and heal the afflicted- or just install another tube.
If that were the whole story things would have been simple.
I arrived on the scene (which was in a church) and checked out the situation. The bike involved was a 24″ front suspension equipped BSO (bicycle shaped object) from the big K. The big cardboard plate in the front spokes pointing out the finer points of the bike, like it shifts AND has brakes, was pretty shredded.
Finding a couple of office personnel added the necessary details to the tale. Apparently the bicycle converted itself to tubeless in the midst of the 8:20am Sunday Service. There was an older gentleman sitting in the chair by the bike and the Christmas tree when it happened. He was unscathed, but coated in confetti from the front wheel’s cardboard. One of the office staff was nearby and noticed that immediately after the “BOOM” the pressure inside and outside the tire equalized- i.e. the tire went flat. Several congregants thought that there was gunfire (this is Butler, you know), but a custodian noted that it definitely wasn’t as there would be more than one shot fired.
End result: people were startled, but nobody was hurt. (Gunfire????!!!)
The story of the tire being inflated outside and bursting upon going inside didn’t hold a whole lot of air for me. It hasn’t been that cold around here and we’d maybe be looking at 40deg to 70deg F swing. Then I was offered a bit more information: an air compressor had been employed to air up the soft tire in the first place. I’d be willing to guess it wasn’t calibrated for the recommended printed on the sidewall pressure of 50psi.
Now for the less glamorous part. I scavenged a tube from the stash of the Fixed Gear Community Bicycle Collective inventory and replaced the holy one. Unfortunately, the incident left the front wheel REALLY bent. Bent as in, “I can’t fix this with a spoke wrench, it’s hammer time.”
Bulged sidewalls on the steel single wall rim need more than just hands laid on them.
Maybe it’s time to bring in the bicycle ministry.
