Once upon a time, Andy bought two glow in the dark green pedals only to find out that they were both lefts. In case that doesn’t mean much to you (you’re not a bike nerd), pedals are one of those rare threaded items in the universe where “lefty loosey, righty tighty” doesn’t work for installation or removal. The left and the right pedals have reversed threads from each other. Bottom line- two lefts and you’re screwed (well, actually not since they can’t be installed.)

Andy was disappointed to say the least. Who wouldn’t want glow in the dark pedals? He returned them from whence they came (Rapp’s).

Some time later, I ventured into another local bike shop, Butler Bicycles, in search of adventure (that sounds good since I can’t remember the exact reason- wait it was to notify them to be on the lookout for a stolen bike). After perusing a bit, I approached the counter and struck up
A conversation with Adam. Almost immediately I was distracted by a lone green, glow in the dark Odyssey PC pedal on the counter. Could it really be a right one? Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

I asked Adam why he has a right pedal with no mate and gladly shared the story.

A few months back, he had some customers walk I who were passing through town. They had a unicycle with that needed repaired. It seems the pedal threads on the crankarm had been stripped. They were in a rush to get the unicycle looking presentable and had to leave for home the next day. When they gave more of the story, it turns out that the unicycle was for display purposes only. They explained that their (nephew or son) had been tragically killed in an accident (automobile I believe) and that his favorite past time was riding his uni. They needed the unicycle to sit near the casket at the viewing, and then it was to be buried with him.

Ugh.

Adam didn’t have a replacement crankarm, and knowing the circumstances pulled a non-load bearing repair with smaller diameter pedals. They left him with the right pedal that was of no use to them and he kept it to remind himself that bad things happen, yet every now and then something simple can help out a bit.

I relayed to him the story of the two lefts and he offered to trade the right pedal on his counter for one of the lefts. He said that the orientation of the pedal didn’t matter to him, it was the thought that counted. We both agreed that a set of useful pair of pedals in circulation would be at least a small tribute to the unfortunate passing of a teenager.

So I approached Jeff Rapp about purchasing the set of two lefts and relayed the tragic story. He insisted upon donating the two lefts. Back at Adam’s I traded.

Now I had a left and right pedal- that didn’t quite match. They are close, but not quite the same color plastic.

No problem.

I was looking for something to put the pedals on that would be a fitting tribute. Since the donor loved unicycling, a loaner unicycle came to mind. One that would be ridden by a lot of people and instrumental in growing their love for the sport.

Shortly thereafter a loaner unicycle came back to me. Chris and Beth (former bike shop owners) had been semi-permanently to permanently lent one a while ago. We crossed paths and they decided it would be of more use to the Butler Wobble than the Currie Circus so they gave it back.

It’s a perfect match for the pedals:

This loaner gets lot of use at the Y.

So when someone asks about the mismatched pedals, they’ll get a story about people who love bikes and a boy who loved unicycling.

It won’t bring him back, but it will remind me how precious life is.

At the end of the day, who doesn’t want swag?

We have an ongoing policy with our unicycle club, the Butler Wobble . Bring your own uni (to practice at the Y) and get a free custom valve cover. It’s great incentive, and with the bulk dice at 5 Below, works out to under $.40 a piece.

As you can see, tonight was a busy night of drilling. The elves did indeed wear a respirator as who knows what the dice are made of. Just because there’s a unicorn or pink flamingo on top, I’m not convinced they’re loaded with magic.

And yet, they are.

The beauty of the whole giveaway is that it gets people to 1. Get their own uni, and 2. Bring it with them. Ultimately an evening of work saves me a bit of work on the loaner fleet, but more importantly leaves the loaners free for new attendees.

Like you.

Unicycling isn’t just for clowns. It’s for almost everyone. It’s fun, and a great workout. But you’ve heard me gush before.

You know where to find us on Saturday afternoons. We have a free valve cover for you if you bring your own uni.

If you don’t have one- we have loaners. You just won’t get a cover- yet.

This morning I had the privilege of waking up much sooner than anticipated due to the joys of the internet.  It wasn’t due to a last minute sniper tactic on a watched eBay item or the need to Skype with unicyclists in Great Britain.  No, the real reason was because my dog needs to stop scratching her left eye.

It’s a convoluted tale involving an 8 1/2 year old 65lb airedale terrier, a backyard hunting trip gone awry, eye surgery, an Elizabethan cone, and much whimpering.  Couple that with money that doesn’t grow on trees flying away like leaves in a tornado and I’ve had enough.  I love my dog, but I’m going to do my best to keep this from happening again.

The plan was simple: Doggles.  Yes, they are a product with a clever name describing exactly their origins and purpose: dog goggles.  I don’t watch a lot of infomercials and don’t spend a lot of money on the latest and greatest gizmo promising to improve my life, but these things seem like the real deal.  I’ve got a dog that is recovering from an eye ulcer and will be prone to them for the rest of her life.  She also has a penchant for sticking her head into bushes in the pursuit of being the end consumer of many rodentia.  I’d also like to have some uninterrupted sleep.

Here’s the brief aside: airedales are fantastic dogs.*

* = If you’re insane.  Not really, but they’re the equivalent of a 65lb jack russell terrier.  For those not familiar with dogs, this is a measurement roughly equivalent to a Chuck E Cheese filled with youngsters – and an unlimited supply of Red Bull.

The problem Jasmine has is that the healing eye is itchy.  (That, and she’s an impulsive airedale.)  She may try to scratch it at any time- like before I could finish this sentence (true story).  We’ve got to keep an eye on her almost constantly until it mends (see the *).  This morning, at 4ish and again at 7ish she decided that her eye was itchy.  I was on it.  This has been going on in one form or another for over a week.

How does this all tie in to an economic observation and rant?  Last week I tried to find Doggles locally.  Since we unfortunately no longer have a local pet store (RIP Pet Wellness Center) I had to consult the phone book (and internet). The local grocery store sized chain pet store informed me they were an internet only item.  The next closest grocery store sized chain pet store said they had them, but only ones that were rock star tinted- dark enough for a successful crossing of the Sahara or to look cool in a Harley Davidson sidecar (or maybe on one of those ridiculous 3 wheeled motor cycle thingys).  Yeah, try putting a neurotic natural born killer in the dark instantly and see what happens- I’d bet it’s good for a visit to at least Med Express.

A bit more research unveiled that the Doggles I sought (with interchangeable lenses) were only available online.  Figuring that interchangeable lenses- the only way to get the clear ones- will not only be stylish, but will keep me from completely depleting the supply of adhesive bandages within a 10 mile radius- I ordered a pair.

I would have gladly paid a premium if I could have bought them locally and not have to go through another 2 nights of waiting for a package to arrive from the UPS distribution center in New Stanton.  Thanks to the internet I can order the merchandise, track the package, and eagerly await its arrival.

I would have gladly traded for getting a few good night’s sleep.

PS- You may think: “Dude, there’s no way you should expect to be able to buy such a specialty item locally.”  Lisa informed me that the eye ulcer our dog has is commonly referred to as a Boxer Ulcer due to the frequency with which that breed experiences the problem.  Doggles are used for working dogs too.  The pet hospital that treated Jasmine was huge and incredibly busy when Lisa took Jasmine in for the procedure.  They also have multiple pet opthamologists on staff.

The whole point is, I’d love to support local businesses and avoid shipping.  Unfortunately it’s becoming increasingly difficult to walk into brick and mortar establishments to buy goods.  Try to buy a David Byrne CD.

Support your local businesses.

Back to the story.   The woman’s message involved a bicycle that she was donating to a child in need for Christmas.  Of course, if everything was hunky dory she wouldn’t be calling me to save the velocipede.  Her message indicated that she had a problem with the bike and her solution led to a bigger problem- that’s why she called the bicycle ministry.  I guess sometimes a layperson just doesn’t have the power and the clergy need involved.

Her answering machine story said that she had aired up the tires outside and took the bike inside, so the warmer temperature caused the tire to explode.  For all you bike shop people out there, this sounds like a JRA- “Just Riding Along” without the riding part.  She wondered if I could show up and heal the afflicted- or just install another tube.

If that were the whole story things would have been simple.

I arrived on the scene (which was in a church)  and checked out the situation.  The bike involved was a 24″ front suspension equipped BSO (bicycle shaped object) from the big K.  The big cardboard plate in the front spokes pointing out the finer points of the bike, like it shifts AND has brakes, was pretty shredded.

Finding a couple of office personnel added the necessary details to the tale.  Apparently the bicycle converted itself to tubeless in the midst of the 8:20am Sunday Service.  There was an older gentleman sitting in the chair by the bike and the Christmas tree when it happened.  He was unscathed, but coated in confetti from the front wheel’s cardboard.  One of the office staff was nearby and noticed that immediately after the “BOOM” the pressure inside and outside the tire equalized- i.e. the tire went flat.  Several congregants thought that there was gunfire (this is Butler, you know), but a custodian noted that it definitely wasn’t as there would be more than one shot fired.

End result: people were startled, but nobody was hurt. (Gunfire????!!!)

The story of the tire being inflated outside and bursting upon going inside didn’t hold a whole lot of air for me.  It hasn’t been that cold around here and we’d maybe be looking at 40deg to 70deg F swing.  Then I was offered a bit more information: an air compressor had been employed to air up the soft tire in the first place.  I’d be willing to guess it wasn’t calibrated for the recommended printed on the sidewall pressure of 50psi.

Now for the less glamorous part.  I scavenged a tube from the stash of the Fixed Gear Community Bicycle Collective inventory and replaced the holy one.  Unfortunately, the incident left the front wheel REALLY bent.  Bent as in, “I can’t fix this with a spoke wrench, it’s hammer time.”

Bulged sidewalls on the steel single wall rim need more than just hands laid on them.

Maybe it’s time to bring in the bicycle ministry.

Great use of a car’s roof. Fortunately, I biked. When the world goes by at 15 mph there’s more time to take in the beauty around us.

The most unicycle worthy day of the century?

Nigel Tufnel?

63?

Whatever you do, thank a Veteran.

Even if you don’t agree with the wars, the men and women who served are brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children, or grandparents of somebody.

Free speech. The Grammar Police aren’t on the ballot. It’s America- I can do whatever I want (a guy harassing me from his jacked up pickup once told me that.) Keep America Great.

I’m not sure if any one of those descriptions aptly describes this sign I saw on tonight’s approaching full moon bike ride.

Remember to vote tomorrow. You can write in any name you want, but you have to spell it correctly.

Now go and reread this sign. If you decipher it- please let me know what change needs to take place.

Life’s been taking turns like that.

We closed up shop for our the season on our 5 year running local project this past Monday.  The Fixed Gear Community Bicycle Collective will open again next May.  For now, it’s getting a bit cold to work on bikes outside for 2 hours at a clip.  That, and only nuts ride bikes in Winter around here.  Count me in.

Unicycling kicks up at the Butler Y starting November 5th.  As “The Speech” goes (according to some biker-doubters I know)- you’re invited.  Saturdays 4:30-6:30.  You can do it.

The Month of Mud series wraps up in a couple of weeks.  With Alameda Park trails destroyed by the logging project, I’m going to need to make an effort to get my uni out of the zip code to find some off-roading.  Bummer that the local trails will not be rideable until who knows when.  If ever.

A bigger loss is that of Mark Manfred.  53 isn’t that old to pass away.  His friends and family greatly miss him.  I guess I fall under the friend category by birth, but feel like family by the way he and his family treat us.

Both racing and Mark’s Memorial Service are this Sunday.  Hopefully I can make both.  Mark would want it that way.

One of the latest blog posts was on the ad GM recently ran saying “Reality Sucks.” If they had left it without the picture it may be an accurate statement, but of course they ran a picture. Here’s where I get lazy and encourage you to go find the ad and all the discourses that go along with it. “Bike Portland Blog” is a good place to start your search. I’ll add that at best the ad was in bad taste. It seems GM is experiencing some backlash over their college student marketing campaign.

In spite of GM’s efforts to get me to give up my bike (or unicycle), I’m not so sure the automobile-centered lifestyle is healthy in the first place. Cars kill people. Recently Becky Smith of Butler PA was a victim of the terrible physics involving 2 motor vehicles. I mention her as I personally knew her. She was not even the driver. Tragic events like these happen all the time yet we’re still willing to address them as “accidents.”

I’ve had people tell me that using a bicycle (or unicycle) for transportation is crazy. (Well, using a unicycle may be crazy, but how many people do you know who have died in a unicycle accident? Statistically, I’m pretty safe.) Those who are quick to offer ride safely warnings don’t cite the bike as dangerous vehicle, they cite the cars on the road that make it so. If cars are so dangerous, why do we, especially as Americans, love them so much?

And who thought of the “You’ve Got a Friend in Jesus” vanity plate? First of all- I’m pretty sure the Son of God never drove. Knowing how destructive these 2+ ton machines are to the environment, would he endorse them? They pollute the environment, humans die in them all the time, and wars are fought over their fuel. Whether or not you subscribe to His claims, it doesn’t take long to figure out he was about loving other people not reveling in their destruction.

Maybe the vanity plate is to be there to be the last thing you see in this life and to usher you to the next. Especially if you’re one of those GM is targeting with “Reality Sucks.”